By the end of the first week, the Boss introduced two initiatives that caused morale to soar. After assigning all the aircraft porn star names to replace the dry series of letters and numbers, it was time to rename the pilots by allocating tactical callsigns. The first woman ever to fly a British Apache, Charlotte (left) was given the official callsign of ‘Posh’. Not even Tony (right) – the best pilot in the Squadron – would deny that he looked uncannily like a chimp, so he was named for the missing link and his official callsign became ‘Darwin’. I was christened ‘Elton’, as in ‘Rocket Man’, for an unfortunate disaster at Gereshk.